Wednesday, June 30, 2010

2010 NFL Predictions: Houston Texans Game-By-Game Limerick Edition

The Houston Texans come off their first winning season in their eight-year franchise history and are poised for a playoff run in 2010.

In fact, many have projected the Texans as a 2010 dark horse Super Bowl contender, and for good reason.

You may be surprised to know that despite analysts’ perennial projections suggesting Houston would make the postseason I never caved, until now.

The following list uncovers my charismatic 2010 game-by-game predictions for the Houston Texans in a creative limerick formation.

Adamant Track Record, VOTP

Albeit I don’t hold a magic eight ball, I have a great track record with football predictions.

While I’ll be the first to admit I’ve missed many games, as all savvy bold risk takers do, there’s a much longer list of ground-breaking upsets and earth-shattering blowouts I predicted that everyone else doubted that inevitably came to pass.

Verse of this Piece

“When you are arrested, don’t worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given the things to say. It will not really be you speaking but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”—Matthew 10:19-20

I have written a verse of my own choosing (unless one was requested) with every new article I’ve presented since I began with after my 50th piece.  This is just something small to glorify my Lord and Savior.

I hope this will inspire someone to step out, to speak without fear, and perhaps one day start somewhat of a trend. If you’d like to request a verse, send me a message.

Last Segment Before Predictions: The Assiduous Fortifications That Will Lead to Playoff Birth

King Matt Schaub had great protection in front of him as he led the league with a passing frenzy in ’10, and yet, the receiving corps is even stronger.

In addition, the running game has seen repairs with Steve Slaton returning healthy and receiving aid with second-year veteran Arian Foster and complimentary rookie Ben Tate.

On defense, albeit Brian Cushing serves a four-game suspension, DeMeco Ryans and Zac Diles are more than capable of picking up the pace during the absence.

At corner, Kareem Jackson is in for a breakout rookie season opposite the very promising second-year cornerback Glover Quinn, with the infamous safety Bernard Pollard, also known as “The Bonecrusher” and “Patriot Killer” ready to annihilate the opposition.

And despite superstar status, Mario Williams was outperformed last season by the terrific tandem that aligned adjacent in teammates Connor Barwin and Antonio Smith.

Losing five games by seven points or less in ’09 was very costly, but with the improvements in every phase listed above, as well as the fortifications not mentioned in special teams, it appears the issue will vanish by the seems. Here we go…

Week 1, Sept 12—vs. Indianapolis, 1:00pm

The Colts are a perpetual division leader,

A team Houston has only once conquered

But where there’s a will, there’s a way

And in Week One, the Texans find their say

Utilizing the invigorating crowd and great teamwork to shake-up their predecessor

Prediction: Houston 27, Indianapolis 23

Week 2, Sept 19—at Washington, 4:15pm

The Redskins have vastly progressed since last December

And look to be on the rise, come September

However, the Texans enter in boiling

While Washington, after a loss to Dallas, begins deteriorating, before improving

The Texans are more talented top-to-bottom and win in a painstaking manner

Prediction: Houston 27, Washington 17

Week 3, Sept 26—vs. Dallas, 1:00pm

The annual Dallas-Houston clash in 2010 is sure to be interesting

This, especially considering…

They face off undefeated, both as explosive powerhouses

While I’d love to say Houston will come out victorious,

Dallas has the stronger arsenal at the time of this faceoff….I’m thinking

Prediction: Dallas 24, Houston 21

Week 4, Oct 3—at Oakland, 4:05pm

Last season Houston blew Oakland apart, 29-6

But the Raiders seemed to have finally found their niche

However, one good offseason isn’t enough

To suddenly turn a weak team all that tough

The Texans take the wheel, and advance comfortably

Prediction: Houston 28, Oakland 13

Week 5, Oct 10—vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:00pm

The Giants were perceived as on top of the world

With a 5-0 start, but had only beaten cinnamon twirls (new reference to cupcake teams)

Then self-destructed suddenly

Suffering a downhill eradication, falling aimlessly

And in ’10 are faced with even a tougher schedule

Now, with Brian Cushing’s return

The Texans put up (until the final seconds) a surprising massacre

Prediction: Houston 35, N.Y. Giants 20

Week 6, Oct 17—vs. Kansas City, 1:00pm

A snoozer on the surface, this game could become exhilarating

Kansas City has a lethal backfield with great versatility

While Houston uses more than its fair share of frequent flyer miles

This looks to be the game annual NFL game I visit, and I’ll be all smiles

Albeit the Giants are a better team, the Chiefs will show more hostility

Prediction: Houston 31, Kansas City 16

Week 8, Nov 1—at Indianapolis—Monday Night, 8:30pm

After a bolt from the blue in Week 1

The Colts come back with fire

As Manning defeats his successor

Under the lights, on the first night in November

In a passing frenzy and crowd-pleasing overtime thriller

Prediction: Indianapolis 31, Houston 28

Week 9, Nov 7—vs. San Diego, 1:00pm

Coming in 5-2, after the loss to the Colts

The Texans face an intriguing test (on my 18th b-day) against the Bolts

Still presumably without OT McNeil and WR Vincent Jackson

The Chargers don’t look so super, losing in upset fashion

But still at the end of the wire, giving Houston a sure mouthful

Prediction: Houston 26, San Diego 16

Week 10, Nov 14—at Jacksonville, 1:00pm

Jacksonville comes off a bye week 3-5,

While Houston prepares to thrive…

With revenge from losing twice in ’09 to the Jags

David Garrard begins to feel the pressure, losing his swag

Allowing mass destruction, as the team takes a dive

Prediction: Houston 23, Jacksonville 10

Week 11, Nov 21—at N.Y. Jets, 1:00pm

The Jets are fierce and climbing the ladder

Houston’s pass-heavy offense takes on a defense that might actually be superior

This re-match from last year is sure to go down to the wire

Leading up to the final possession, with the Jets producing fire

As they pull it out in slugfest barn-burner

Prediction: N.Y. Jets 17, Houston 14

Week 12, Nov 28—vs. Tennessee, 1:00pm

On a weekly basis, Chris Johnson and Vince Young tend to play very well

In Reliant Stadium, they tend to excel

However, this is where Houston picks up the pace

Beginning to find their grace and postseason face

Holding off a solid lead in the 4th quarter to prevail

Prediction: Houston 28, Tennessee 21

Week 13, Dec 2—at Philadelphia—Thursday Night, 8:20pm

A cold December night with probable snow

On a short week, with possible blizzard implications to show

This is the weather the Eagles bestow

And the type the Texans loathe

But somehow pull out with a final kick at the close

Prediction: Texans 20, Eagles 17

Week 14, Dec 13—vs. Baltimore—Monday Night, 8:30pm
Another tough Bird battle for Houston under the lights

As Baltimore comes in red hot with a ton of fight

Joe Flacco, Ray Rice, Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, and Anquan Boldin

Versus Schaub, Mario Williams, Demeco Ryans, a RB trio, and Andre Johnson

Makes for a duel that’s sure to turn thriller and emit dynamite

Prediction: Houston 34, Baltimore 30

Week 15, Dec 19—at Tennessee, 1:00pm

After concluding the night game tour on national television

The Texans return to a normal schedule, ready for another test in their division

The Titans come in 7-6, not completely dead

Still alive, but hanging on by just a needle on a thread

With the season on the line, buoyant Young and Johnson temporarily prolong the expedition

Prediction: Tennessee 27, Houston 20

Week 16, Dec 26—at Denver, 4:05pm

If any team in the NFL is a dark horse, it’s the Broncos

They’re a conundrum and their season works like a stack of dominos

Without Brandon Marshall, Houston should dominate through the air

But both teams will force you out of your chair

On both sides of the ball with a fanatical versatile combo

Prediction: Houston 37, Denver 28

Week 17, Jan 2—vs. Jacksonville, 1:00pm

“If they had overcome the Jags just once last season…

They would have made the playoffs”

A common reference and this time it was a great payoff

But Jacksonville comes in having choked all season

But with the first Wildcard spot secure

The Texans rest most of their starters

As, in Week 17, they feel only a slight meaningless cough

Prediction: Jaguars 24, Texans 17


There you have it, entering in as the fifth seed

The Texans end the regular season 11-5, that’s the deed

How the playoffs go is to be determined

But I wouldn’t put anything past them

Sure, some of the limerick rules were bent, but what’s the need (to follow exactly)?

After all, Hank Aaron held his bat amiss

But I got down the fundamentals, so don’t dis’

Anyways, performed by the very inspiring Phillip Chbeeb (below)

A Houston native, writer, and dancer (is a recent video)

That helped initiate the idea to produce the article in this poetic instance

So thanks for reading; let me know your thoughts!

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